Apr 2, 2020
This Under Covers social experiment has been really mind-blowing for me and the answers, however small the sampling is, tell a very interesting story.
First of all, I started doing these interviews because I wanted you to know that YOU ARE NORMAL. This idea that we’re strange or, dirty or unworthy of sexual pleasure all stems back to us being stigmatized during sex education. I spoke to one woman who believed that she never deserved oral sex simply because she didn’t look like the models she saw in magazines.
What in the actual hell are we telling ourselves? And why are we restricting or demonizing our desires?
That’s why I started doing these interviews, so you might hear something from another person and think, OH MY GAWD, I thought I was the only person dealing with that!!!
WELL, YOU’RE NOT.
The sex education that most kids receive whether from school or home is frequently fear or shame-based, rarely mandated to be fact-based, and is often filled with bizarre threats of unintended pregnancies and terrifying STIs that will kill you!!!
No wonder there’s so much dysfunction out there.
Bottom line, most of the women I spoke to and many, many millions more were only taught about shame or fear when it comes to sex as a way of trying to control us and dissuade us from thinking about or desiring sex. The result of this misinformation, of course, has shown up in millions of bedrooms for what could be a lifetime of sexual dysfunction.
If we’re going to raise kids who have healthy sex lives and real agency and self-confidence, we MUST change our approach to sex education and make it fact-based and not shame or fear-based. If you told your child over and over again DON’T EAT COOKIES, DON’T EAT COOKIES, WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT EVER EAT COOKIES BECAUSE THEY WILL KILL YOU, your kid will probably hoard a mountain of Oreos and Chips Ahoys under their bed and have a serious cookie problem. I’m not a psychologist and I realize I’m oversimplifying things but only to a degree. I am a parent and I can tell you for certain that any time you severely restrict something from a kid, all it does is make them go out of their minds and want it more and more. Restriction can lead to pathological hoarding. Case in point: Toilet paper.
Speaking of…
I mentioned in this episode I had zero toilet paper problems during these crazy covid-19 times because last year I received a LUXE BIDET. That’s right! You can add this genius item right beneath your existing toilet seat and you will NEVER NEED TOILET PAPER AGAIN! Plus you’re super clean and it’s quite earth friendly. Buy one and you will never go back to toilet paper. (Also it’s great to purchase for older parents who might start having mobility issues). As of this posting, this particular model has nearly 5-stars and close to 10,000 reviews. It’s only $41.99, requires no external power source or batteries, and is pretty easy to install. My dreamy husband did it himself. Because we have a fancy Japanese skirted toilet, we needed a special valve and the folks at Luxe sent it to me free of charge. They’re a great company and they offer amazing customer service. Buy this bidet and your life (and nether regions) can change for the better!
Trust me, I hate everything.
Okay, now back to our show…
On this Under Covers episode I speak to Amanda (not her real name).
All you need to know in advance is that Amanda is 33, single and identifies as sexually fluid.
And that’s where all similarities end…or begin.
Also, I’m going to post an in-depth look at the most surprising data from the first ten Under Covers interviews on Medium. You can always check out my work there at https://medium.com/@thewendymiller
If you have any questions, have a fun Screw Confession to share or would like to be interviewed Under Covers, please email me. I love hearing from you.
Take care and please stay healthy and stay indoors!
Wendy
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